How we talk to ourself in our minds can be such a powerful tool to combat anxiety. It could alternatively be the thing that enhances our anxiety and causes us to struggle with life.
If you’ve got a child or teen dealing with anxiety, you’re probably feeling a bit overwhelmed and desperate to find ways to help them cope. One of the most powerful tools you can introduce to your kid is the art of positive self-talk. It might sound a bit “woo-woo” at first, but trust me, it’s a game-changer when it comes to mental health.
What is Self-Talk?
Self-talk is basically the inner dialogue that goes on in our heads. It’s like having a little voice that comments on everything we do. This voice can be positive and supportive, or it can be negative and critical. For kids with anxiety, their inner voice often leans towards the latter, filling their heads with worries and doubts. Teaching them to flip the script can make a huge difference.
Why Self-Talk Matters
Imagine if you had a friend who constantly pointed out everything you did wrong and made you feel like you were never good enough. Not fun, right? That’s what negative self-talk does. It’s a relentless bully that chips away at self-esteem and fuels anxiety. Positive self-talk, on the other hand, is like having a cheerleader in your corner, helping you navigate through life’s challenges with a bit more confidence.
When kids learn to recognise and change their negative self-talk, they can:
- Reduce Anxiety: Positive self-talk can help calm those racing thoughts and make overwhelming situations feel more manageable.
- Boost Self-Esteem: Kids who talk to themselves kindly are more likely to feel good about who they are.
- Improve Resilience: Positive self-talk helps kids bounce back from setbacks instead of getting stuck in a cycle of worry.
How to Help Your Kid Develop Positive Self-Talk
So, how do you get your kid to start talking to themselves in a more positive way? Here are some tips that might help.
1. Lead by Example
Kids are sponges; they absorb everything around them. If they hear you being kind and encouraging to yourself, they’re more likely to do the same. Next time you make a mistake, try saying out loud, “Oops, that didn’t go as planned, but it’s okay, I’ll try again.” This shows them that it’s alright to make mistakes and that being kind to yourself is important.
2. Identify Negative Self-Talk
Help your kid become aware of their negative self-talk. You can do this by gently pointing it out when you hear it. For example, if they say, “I’m so stupid, I’ll never get this right,” you can respond with, “That’s not true, everyone makes mistakes, and it’s how we learn. How about we try saying, ‘This is tough, but I can get better with practice’?”
3. Teach Them to Challenge Negative Thoughts
Encourage your child to question their negative thoughts. If they think, “Everyone will laugh at me,” ask them, “What makes you think that?” and “Has that ever happened before?” Helping them see that their fears are often exaggerated can reduce their anxiety.
4. Encourage Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are simple, positive statements that kids can repeat to themselves. Phrases like “I am capable,” “I can handle this,” and “I am worthy” can help rewire their brains to focus on the good. Make it fun by turning it into a game or incorporating it into their daily routine, like saying an affirmation each morning or before bed.
5. Use Visual Reminders
Sometimes a little visual cue can make a big difference. Write down positive affirmations or encouraging phrases on sticky notes and put them around the house – on the bathroom mirror, on their bedroom door, or in their lunchbox. These reminders can give your child a boost of positivity throughout the day.
6. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques
Mindfulness and relaxation exercises, like deep breathing or guided imagery, can help kids slow down their thoughts and reduce anxiety. When they’re calm, it’s easier for them to engage in positive self-talk. You can find plenty of kid-friendly mindfulness exercises online or even join in and do them together.
7. Celebrate Small Wins
Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Celebrate when you notice your child using positive self-talk or handling a challenging situation well. This could be as simple as saying, “I’m really proud of how you handled that,” or doing something special together to acknowledge their effort.
Helping your child develop positive self-talk won’t happen overnight, and that’s okay. It’s a gradual process, and every small step forward is a win. Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety completely – because we all feel anxious sometimes – but to give your child the tools to manage it in a healthy way.
By teaching your child the power of positive self-talk, you’re not just helping them cope with anxiety; you’re equipping them with a lifelong skill that will boost their confidence and resilience in all areas of their life. So, give it a go, and watch your kid transform from a worrywart into a confident champion!