Many children struggle at bedtime. Worries creep in, fears of the dark seem larger, and bedtime becomes a time of dread rather than rest. If your child is experiencing bedtime anxiety, you are not alone and there are things parents can do to help ease the fear and establish a calm, secure bedtime routine.
Here are practical strategies to help your child settle, reduce bedtime anxiety, and get better sleep.
What Is Bedtime Anxiety?
Bedtime anxiety is when a child feels nervous, worried or fearful around going to bed or trying to sleep. This might show up as
Racing thoughts or worries about the next day
Fear of separation from parents
Fear of darkness, monsters, or something bad in the room
Trouble falling asleep, frequent waking, or resisting bedtime altogether
Knowing what kind of anxiety your child is experiencing helps you choose the right support.
Poor sleep from bedtime anxiety does not just mean tired mornings. Over time it can affect mood, behaviour, learning, and even physical health. Help your child learn calming habits now and you will build resilience that serves them through school and beyond.
Strategies to Help Your Child with Bedtime Anxiety
Here are effective, gentle strategies you can start tonight
Create a predictable bedtime routine – A set sequence of low stimulus activities such as bath, brushing teeth, reading done in the same order every night helps signal to your child’s brain that it is time to wind down. Consistency matters
Limit screens and bright lights before bed – The blue light from tablets, phones or TVs interferes with the bodys production of melatonin the sleep hormone. Try to have a screen free hour before bed. Dim lights in the room help set the mood for sleep
Comfort and reassurance – Validate your child’s fears without dismissing them. Acknowledge what they feel such as I understand it is scary when it is dark and offer reassurance such as You are safe I am nearby I will check on you
Use grounding and relaxation techniques – Simple breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery such as imagining a safe place can all help calm an anxious mind. These work especially well when done before trying to fall asleep
Night light or security object – A small warm night light choosing a soft yellow or orange glow or a favourite stuffed toy or blanket can provide comfort. These security objects help children feel more in control of their environment
Worry box or worry time earlier in the day – If racing thoughts keep your child awake, have a time earlier in the evening when they can write or talk about their worries. Then encourage them to leave those worries in a box or journal to come back to tomorrow. This helps avoid carrying worries into bedtime
Set clear expectations and boundaries – Let your child know what bedtime looks like such as lights out, quiet time, no getting up unless necessary. Be calm but consistent even when there is resistance
Check in gradually – If your child needs you in the room you can gradually pull back. Maybe start staying until they drift off then move to staying until they are drowsy but awake then check in periodically rather than staying. Over time this builds their confidence to fall asleep more independently
Tips for Parents: Self Care and Support
Helping an anxious child can be exhausting. It is vital to look after your own wellbeing too
Maintain your own wind down routine so you are calm entering bedtime routines
Seek support from partner, family or other parents
Educate yourself with books and trusted resources so you feel equipped to help your child
Sample Bedtime Routine Example
Here is a sample schedule you might adapt:
7:00–7:20 pm Warm bath or shower, calm play
7:20–7:35 pm Pyjamas, brush teeth, bathroom
7:35–7:50 pm Read, together or alone low excitement story
7:50 pm Lights dim, favourite toy or night light, reassurance, whatever is needed to feel safe
Around 8:00 pm Lights out, deep breathing or guided imagery, parent checks in if needed
If your child’s bedtime anxiety feels overwhelming and nothing seems to be working, you do not have to face it alone. Sometimes outside support makes all the difference. If all else fails, why not see if Anna Ware can help? Send her an enquiry today and find out how she can support your child in finally getting calm restful sleep at night.