Imagine a child who worries constantly about school, friendships, or the future. On the surface, it might look like being sensitive, but underneath it can take a heavy toll. When anxiety starts young and remains untreated, it carries costs far beyond tears and sleepless nights. These costs ripple through school years, relationships, health, career, and your child’s sense of self.
To begin, the numbers are sobering.
• In Australia, about 6.9 % of children and adolescents aged 4–17 had an anxiety disorder in the past 12 months.
Source: Young Minds Matter – The Second Australian Child and Adolescent Survey of Mental Health and Wellbeing
• One in fourteen Australian children aged 4–17 experience an anxiety disorder.
Source: Children’s Health Queensland – Anxiety
• Anxiety disorders often begin early and follow a chronic, recurrent course, making them among the most costly mental health conditions over a lifetime.
Source: Springer Reference on Anxiety Disorders
• In school, children with anxiety average around six days off per year due to symptoms.
Source: AIHW – Australia’s Children: Mental Illness
These stats highlight a hard truth: anxiety in childhood is not just a phase. It can evolve and build over time, creating emotional, social, academic, health, and financial costs that follow into adulthood.
What “Cost” Really Means
When we talk about the cost of anxiety, it’s not only about therapy bills. It includes emotional, social, health, and life opportunities that may be lost or limited over time.
Emotional and Psychological Costs
• Low self-esteem and chronic self-doubt
• Constant worry that drains mental energy
• Co-occurring depression or substance use
• Poor quality of life and ongoing distress
Imagine Sophie, age 10, who worries obsessively that her friends dislike her. She avoids social events. Over time, she becomes more withdrawn, anxious about new friendships, and starts believing that something is wrong with her. That self-story becomes harder to shift later.
Academic and Cognitive Costs
• School avoidance or absenteeism
• Difficulty concentrating or remembering
• Fear of tests or making mistakes
• Lower academic performance
If your child avoids school or struggles to focus because of anxiety, they lose valuable learning time. Over years, small gaps compound into larger struggles.
Social and Relationship Costs
• Difficulty forming or keeping friendships
• Avoiding social events and teamwork
• Relationship issues later in life
• Family stress and tension
Avoidance can become a habit, making children more isolated and less confident. The less they practise social skills, the harder those situations become.
Health and Physical Costs
• Sleep problems and fatigue
• Headaches, stomach aches, or muscle tension
• Chronic stress on the body
• Higher use of health services
Anxiety lives in the body as much as the mind. Over time, the body pays the price for long-term stress.
Financial and Career Costs
• Therapy and healthcare costs
• Lost income due to absenteeism or underemployment
• Fewer career opportunities
• Missed life goals
Research shows anxiety disorders can lead to thousands of dollars in lifetime losses through reduced productivity and higher health costs.
Source: Springer Reference on Anxiety Disorders
Beyond money, the real cost is lost potential – jobs not applied for, dreams not pursued, and joy overshadowed by fear.
How Early Anxiety Casts a Long Shadow
Anxiety disorders often begin in childhood or adolescence. The earlier they appear, the longer they have to shape thinking, behaviour, and wellbeing.
Here’s how early anxiety can unfold across life:
- Developmental interference – anxious children avoid new experiences and challenges, missing key learning opportunities
- Entrenched patterns – worry and avoidance become ingrained habits
- Compounding stressors – as life gets busier, fears grow stronger
- Secondary issues – depression or panic attacks may develop
- Reduced resilience – difficulty bouncing back from setbacks
In short, anxiety that starts early often becomes a life pattern unless it’s addressed.
What Parents Can Do
Parents play a huge role in protecting children from the long-term effects of anxiety. Early support can completely change a child’s life path.
Step-by-Step Support Plan for Parents
- Recognise the signs early
• Constant worry or fear
• Avoiding friends, school, or new activities
• Complaints of headaches or stomach aches
• Trouble sleeping or restlessness - Validate before you fix
Show empathy by saying, “I can see how much this worries you.” Avoid dismissing feelings or over-reassuring. Encouraging your child to name their fears helps reduce their power. - Teach small coping skills
• Deep breathing or mindfulness
• The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique
• A “worry time” each day to contain fears
• A bravery ladder – small steps to face fears gradually - Model calm, brave behaviour
Children learn from watching you. Stay calm during stressful situations and show that discomfort is okay. - Keep communication open
• Ask questions like “What’s the worst that could happen?”
• Help them reframe thoughts to realistic outcomes
• Encourage journaling or drawing to express feelings - Seek professional help early
• A child psychologist or coach experienced in anxiety
• Evidence-based approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy
• Parent coaching or group programs for added support - Track progress
• Keep a weekly journal of fears and wins
• Celebrate each success, however small
• Note patterns that improve or worsen
Emma was nine when her anxiety became noticeable. She started refusing school on test days and feared being embarrassed in class. Her parents reassured her at first, but over months she withdrew and her confidence dropped. By age twelve, she avoided most social activities and felt constantly on edge.
Through parent coaching, gentle exposure therapy, and confidence-building exercises, Emma started facing small fears. Within a year, she rejoined the school choir, raised her hand in class, and even spoke at assembly. Early support saved years of emotional struggle and helped her rediscover joy.
If you’re reading this, you probably feel that ache in your chest wondering if your child’s worries are more than just nerves. You’re not alone, and it’s not too late to act.
You can reach out today for a free, friendly chat with Kids Anxiety Coach, Anna Ware. Together, we can explore what’s going on for your child and find the best way forward for your family.
Your love, care, and early action can change the path of their life. Let’s take that first step together.